Friday, November 21, 2008

Eleven Ways The UAW Is Like Congress

So we're sitting here in the press room of the LA Auto Show thinking about Carpocalypse Now, the fight for loans from Congress and thinking to ourselves — you know the UAW and Congress? They're really not so different from each other. It's almost like looking in a mirror. A freaky state fair carnival mirror, but a mirror nonetheless. Here's our list of the top eleven similarities between these two seemingly disparate groups.


1.) Both carry a bunch of signs at all their get-togethers. UAW workers, picket signs. Congressmen, re-election signs.
2.) Both have exorbitant pensions and will receive health care for life upon retirement.
3.) Both have work stoppages for months at a time during summer, winter and around all federal holidays.
4.) Both take credit for creating the middle class.
5.) Both have a historical reputation for shoddy quality of work product.
6.) Both like pork. One likes it in "rind" form, the other in "spending" form.
7.) Both live well beyond their means. UAW workers with boats on Lake Superior. Congress gets junkets and fact-finding     trips to the Cayman Islands.
8.) Both are paid the same regardless of how much work they do.
9.) Both have a national approval rating of under 10%.
10.) Both are seemingly out-classed by their foreign counterparts.
11.) Both get to take election day off.

See, there you have it, they're like ebony and ivory — and really, they've got to figure out a way to live together in perfect harmony.

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